so...

I should be asleep
letting myself worry instead
shouldn't
but do
sometimes
i just think all the wrong thoughts
the voice lately says
"I'm broken."
i've even caught myself
saying it aloud
even if I think
Laing is right
and broken
is the only
way to be
in this broken
world
i wonder
am i broke right?
or broke wrong?
nights like this
when the brain
starts up
every time
I close
my eyes
I have to wonder...
i have to wonder...
so i do.
i lie there
and i motherfuckin'
wonder
when i should
be sleeping
enjoying the parts
of my life
that are going well
and not worrying so
much about the rest
letting the ones
sabotage the others
wonderin'
so much craziness
running rampant
rampant
i say
now i'm up
typing this
and chatting
baader-meinhof
and other bits
of 20th century
german history
with a friend
and trying to
get tired enough
that when i close
my eyes
it all goes
dark.