drunk blogging

I.

I am
a hardcore
humanist.
what does that mean?
I believe
the question of God
is unanswerable
and therefore
we must
get better
at handling
this shit
ourselves.

to let go
and let God
is simply to let go...
if that is yr choice,
so be it...
but recognize it.

we are all we've got
and we have
to do better.
if you believe God
helps those who
help themselves
then I assume
to some degree
you agree.

embrace the mystery
we don't know
we can't
get on with it

push past it
to what you can do

jesus christ!
that sounds like just
so much more
mumbo-jumbo

but folks,
it's all I've got.




II.


I don't believe in gurus.

I think everybody
knows their road...
some of us
just need
to learn
how to walk.


i don't believe in the mind/body split really,
but i know that, sometimes,
my body
and
my mind disagree
on everything
from tacos
to sex

why is it
that my tongue
and my brain
like things
that make
my stomach
and my bowels
so unhappy?

I'd rather not
even think
about the
disconnect
and connect
between
my two heads.
Thanks.

I don't believe in anything really

I only know what I experience

but my experience says that my actions
have consequences
and so I must accept that as reality,
be it real or not.



III.

I believe that
even I do not
understand
my own actions

one hemisphere
of my brain
tells the other
stories
about why I do things
and these
stories
then justify
other things I do

the stories grow
and become
a history
with patterns
and cycles
and morals

and then
suddenly
yr lost
and
you surprise yrself
yr capable of something
else

and you tell yrself
a new story.


IV.

by the way,
I am drunk and
more wrong than right

and yet,
I say -
take care of yrself,
nobody else will.

i want to be sedated

tonight

going to see these guys:



instead of getting some much needed sleep...