Ask a Hill Staffer: Hagiographic Content - Wonkette

Ask a Hill Staffer: Hagiographic Content - Wonkette: "If you could paint a mural on one of the Capitol walls, what would you paint?

I would paint a mural of Ronald Reagan, because he doesn’t have enough shit in his honor around Washington. The Capitol would make the perfect place for a new memorial to our 40th President. I’d paint it of his life: the son of a hard working New Deal union man who grows up to become President of the SAG. This would segue into the part of his life where he stabs his fellow union members in the back by negotiating sweetheart deals with the mob and outing the Communists. His dad would be watching in the background with an “I�€™m disappointed in you, son,” look. You know, like when your dad doesn�€™t yell but makes you feel really bad? And then, I would move on to the part where he divorces his first wife and estranges himself from his kids. Oh yeah, then on to the part where he marries Nancy so he can run for office. I would end it with him going batshit insane with Alzheimer’s and Nancy ironically lobbying the Republican party that he built to allow for more embryonic stem-cell research. But don’t worry, the lobbying would be interpretive so as not to be offensive. And Reagan would be smiling. How much room do I have for this mural? I forgot Iran-Contra!"

If I win the lottery I'm paying someone to paint this.